A PAGE FROM THE DIARY OF SR INSPECTOR ABHIJEET
by Sansriti
Summary: Hey guys, I know, I know it really well that you all have forgotten me. After all, it's been approximately 1 year. But here I am, back with this OS on our very own and dearly Sr. Insp. Abhijeet. Hope you all will enjoy it. I still can't promise my presence over here on a regular basis but I think I will be able to post a story once in a year. So hope that you all will bear with me


_**A PAGE FROM THE DIARY OF SR. INSPECTOR ABHIJEET.**_

It's my 55th birthday today. At this stage of my life, I am feeling all alone and helpless. Throughout my life, I have always been a support system for others but today, all I need is that support and belongingness. This emptiness always gives me a feeling of destitute.

Today, I don't want to go to the bureau. It feels good to have a conversation with the self, all alone. Reluctantly, I got ready to leave for the bureau, while wearing glasses kept on the dressing table, just got a look at the mirror and I couldn't even identify myself. Facial wrinkles – stress, sadness, and pain, depicting them all. Old age was standing knocking at my door.

That cute, lovely and innocent face of childhood appeared in the mirror who used to run and hide into the mother's lap, that first step of the school.

But… but, that face's not mine. That face is of my son Adi. Everyone says that he's my Xerox copy. True, he exactly looks like me and as far as the matter of personality is concerned, I believe he's too young for that. I have relived every bit of my childhood with him, which I never remember.  
Seems as though since childhood there was such maturity that was ready to fight with hardships at every step.

Don't know how but such an innocent and boyish mind knew how to take care of the younger sister (Diya). Be it the studies, teacher's scolding or homework used to handle all the work himself.  
Ohh Adi, you're so alike.

The contractive mind always kept me away from my loved ones. The deepest matters of the heart always remained close in that 4 chambered organ.

I still remember that first prize in the drawing competition. You were so happy. You eagerly waited all afternoon to show that trophy to me, that you yourself will tell me the news and show me the trophy. That moment too came but didn't work out. The words from the heart didn't travel to the tongue. Seeing me plagued with fatigue, you drowned in silence. Maybe, it's all my fault son.

Don't know which fear it was or was it the hesitation? It never made any sense to me. My mind always got nervous while opening some of the deepest and darkest secrets of the heart, even I was unable to do so in front of the love of my life and my soul-brother.

From Senior Inspector to ACP. Always stood alone in all the struggles and ups and downs of life. The times when tears won the war against my will and made their way through my eyes to roll down and kiss my cheeks, those times I was alone, always. I wish I could share my sorrows with my loved ones, at least the burden of my mind would have felt lessen, to some extent.

Physical comforts were always in life, but the mind was always surrounded by emptiness. Marriage, the biggest happiness in one's life, to get a life partner. This also paved the way in my life but like every happiness, it too came after a lot of struggles. Every happiness in my life was destined to be late, all it came after the age to enjoy it.

It was always one of my biggest and sole dream that if I ever got the canopy of any female (That's obviously my life partner), then I wished that I may not have to face such troubles which I always had too.

I never witnessed the support of my father in childhood (well, I don't even know who he was, how he used to look? Every memory of him went away with Maa only. At least I have a picture of Maa but Papa, it's all blank).

To understand the sibling's love; life rewarded me with Daya, my par dearest friend, my brother and yes, this beautiful CID family of ours.

Everyone was there in my life but I never understand why I always remained intact? I never found that shelter. Maybe, I never found a home.

I just kept on taking responsibilities and only remained responsible. The Sharp Shine of CID, The Second in Command, Sr. Insp. Abhijeet.

I always kept trying to find those unfulfilled dreams in my life partner- my Tarika, but the problems of my life never let them be fulfilled.

No, I really don't have any complaints with anyone, it's just me. It's ingrained. This is who I am.

Now, my only hope lies with you, my Son. This journey from childhood to old age just went out like this. Now, maybe this hope of mine gets fulfilled at the last stage of life. Maybe, I will find an abode, a haven.

But now, the mind has turned stone. Neither happiness nor any sadness really matters for it. Suddenly, it all appeared blurred in front of my eyes. I can't see my face properly. Wiping the tears and climbing the specs again reduced some haze.

I started walking towards my destination with a smirk on the face. I want to cross this last stage of my life all alone. After all, self-proclaimed is who I am.

But, Adi, my son. Everyone says that you're just like me. But son, I don't really want you to be like me. The shadow of my life shouldn't fall on yours. Don't you ever be like me, my son.

_**Being Axiomatic, Being Abhijeet. **_

_**Reading those last lines filled a young man's deep black eyes with tears and he closed the diary and this last page written by his father. It was Adi's 20**__**th**__** Birthday and he received his diary and this entry cum letter for him as a gift. **_


End file.
